YAY! First post - Arrgh! Its started already..

As the title suggests, yes - this is the first post in this blog, or rant, or whatever you want to call it and yet, by way of a demonstration of what this blog will contain, I've already broken the fundamental rule to which I am now going to rant at myself and every other numpty out there who does it.

People who do this (like myself in this post - and for the record I shall be carrying out my method of punishment later) should be smote fiercely with a stout stick and set adrift in an open boat. Why do people do this? I see it often on forums in new topics, blog comments, chatboxes, etc, and I think to myself 'For the love of God, why can't these *insert swear word here* people come up with something less *insert swear word here* stupid.

I guess they sit at their computer staring at the screen without a clue in the world about what to write, smoking endless cigarettes whilst trying to think of something witty and enlightening. The complete opening comment to astound all other readers into submission and generally make everyone think that Dixie_Bimbo_Gurl123 or whatever your stupid login name may be, is really and truthfully, a very bright clever person with a lot to offer to the masses.

Then, my dear reader, what do you expect they type??

"YAY! I got first post!!"

Aargh! You bloody moron! etc.

... Oh I'm am speechless, open mouthed and in awe of your writings. Oh how I wish I could think up that little gem. My life, such as it is, will never be the same again. I am humbled to be reading your words.

Now *insert swear word here* off.