Maybe I am just getting on in life, but really, is there any need for some people to abbreviate every single word or phrase in the entire dictionary when your sending a text message, writing an email, or talking on MSN?Fair enough, I can cope with the odd 'lol' and a few 'wtf's' every now and again, but has our beloved *insert your language here* become so useless that we have to resort to shortening everything? I thought learning French at school was bad enough, but sooner or later, and believe me in this crazy society which we claim to call our own and live in, we'll be taking exams in "How To Talk in Txt".
I can see it now. "Aw Wtf I gt a D"
There have even been books released on how to send and decipher this annoying bloody chav code and in texts and emails that I have received, I have had to go online to try to translate the buggers into some sort of sensible conversation, which usually ends in it not being a sensible conversation, and I am left feeling I have waisted ten minutes looking it up and another ten minutes moaning about it.
There are various websites for decrypting said 'txt' one being found at http://www.webopedia.com/quick_ref/textmessageabbreviations.asp. The list of phrases is absolutely gigantic. How can these people memorize so much crap? Do they want to say something, look it up in their book or internet and then type it out? Wouldn't it be far simpler and quicker to just type it out normally or failing that, dial my bloody number and ask me what you wanted to?
Since when is anybody going to use the text term of "NQT - Newly Qualified Teacher" or "YRYOCC - Your Running Your Own Cuckoo Clock". I mean come on, WTF?
I am, as ever, annoyed.
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It seems everyone has a plan for improving the spelling of written English, with the goal of simplifying it.
Even my father, who spent some time as an English teacher, had a plan. His had some rather strict rules though.
Back in 2001, my dad purchased a PocketPC and had to use an onscreen keyboard to type out his messages to me, as he rode the bus to work.
That was when he came up with these new spelling rules for English, and expected me to use them in my communications with him...demanded it...and he even corrected me if I did it wrong! He called it nUspL.
Everything was lowercase unless it said it's name, which in that case it would be uppercase. It was purely phonetic, and if a letter wasn't heard, it was omitted, and other letters were changed to reflect the phonetic nature of the new form of spelling.
This resulted in me receiving messages from him that resembled this:
"helO. how R U 2dA? I wil B stopNg bI lAtR 2 sE U. I hav A prezNt 4 U tht I thnk U wil Njoy."
My dad actually thought these new spelling rules would raise the English literacy rate, if our country converted to it, taught it in all schools...and all books, newspapers, and other text based communications were converted to it, by an order of law.
Then he started using it in chatrooms, and needless to say, he was kicked quite often, even by those that used "AOL KiddySpeak™" as their primary online language.
It was embarrassing, because he would come in chatrooms where he knew I was, and people knew he was my dad. It was kind of hard to explain him, other than to suggest age related senility, which they weren't buying, since they had previous intelligent conversations with him, shortly before he started doing this.
But I think Mark Twain* had the best plan of all, for improving the spelling of written English:
" For example, in Year 1 that useless letter "c" would be dropped to be replased either by "k" or "s", and likewise "x" would no longer be part of the alphabet. The only kase in which "c" would be retained would be the "ch" formation, which will be dealt with later. Year 2 might reform "w" spelling, so that "which" and "one" would take the same konsonant, wile Year 3 might well abolish "y" replasing it with "i" and iear 4 might fiks the "g/j" anomali wonse and for all.
Generally, then, the improvement would kontinue iear bai iear with iear 5 doing awai with useless double konsonants, and iears 6-12 or so modifaiing vowlz and the rimeiniing voist and unvoist konsonants. Bai iear 15 or sou, it wud fainali bi posibl tu meik ius ov thi ridandant letez "c", "y" and "x"— bai now jast a memori in the maindz ov ould doderez —tu riplais "ch", "sh", and "th" rispektivili.
Fainali, xen, aafte sam 20 iers ov orxogrefkl riform, wi wud hev alojikl, kohirnt speling in ius xrewawt xe Ingliy-spiking werld. "
*Ironicly, I found this on an official US government website devoted to "Improving Communication from the Federal Government to the Public"
"I don't give a damn for a man that can only spell a word one way." is another of my Mark Twain favourites.
But it is not just with text either that people abbreviate, shorten or change. It flows in with normal daily conversation with some people, for example in the use of ibonics/ebonics which equally frustrates me. Here is something I found recently, whilst trawling a forum or six.
"hey, i don't kow if any one has this problem too, well i speak english fluently, ofcourse, but i also speak ibonics with some of my friend. (Ebonics is the popular african american way of talking). but i have come to realize that its becoming to affect my english writing skills. For example, if i wanted to write "we were dancing". i would write "we was dancing" and this happens to me in my english papers and essay. but i think i catch my mistake most of the time. so those any one have any advice for me or opinion or even share this same problem"
Holy monkey, Try mixing that up with the Mark Twain plan.
Going off at a slight tangent but still language related, a student who scribbled an expletive on an English language exam paper was awarded 7.5 percent for accurate spelling and effective communication.
The pupil, who wrote "f*** off" after being asked in an English exam to "describe the room you are sitting in", got 2 marks out of 27.
"It does show some very basic skills we are looking for, like conveying some meaning and some spelling," said Peter Buckroyd, who works for the Assessment and Qualifications Alliance examinations board. "It shows some nominal skills but no relevance to the task".
"If it had had an exclamation mark it would have got a little bit more because it would have been showing a little bit of skill".
All of these people are our future. Embrace.
*(Annoyingly the link for http://www.plainlanguage.gov/ wont display, but I'll keep trying it)
In some parts of the US (Bush's home state of Texas, for example), they have what is called "Outcome Based Education".
No matter how "noble" it sounds on paper (it doesn't), and how much they say it is good for kids (it isn't), and how it will result in better education of our children (it doesn't),in practice it is not what they promised it would be.
What it essentially boils down to, is that all that is required for an entire class of morons to pass... is a single, hardworking, above average intelligence child, willing to do the work of an entire class, and allow them all to take credit for that work. (this is so Mexicans can pass English class without learning the language)
But above average intelligence children are too smart to work that hard, so that the lazy children can get credit for, and benefit from it.
This results in the dumbing down of the smart kids, who don't want anyone to know how smart they really are, because then the teachers will have greater expectations of them, and force them to do enough work to pull the entire class through the grade, and on to the next. The dumbing down eventually catches up with those kids and they end up just as stupid as the rest of their classmates.
It punishes intelligence and rewards stupidity.
This is not the next generation that will be running things...this is our current president, who obviously got through school on the sweat of other students!
I am sure glad I live in a state where they are raising the bar on educational requirements, forcing all kids to work harder and know more, in order to obtain their basic High School diploma.
We have higher educational standards than just about any other state in this country. Within another 5-7 years, our High School diplomas will be worth as much as the average general education Associates degree issued from a typical American university.
With all the morons that Texas is churning out, we are going to need that to balance things out.
(That link may not work for you if you are not in the US. Sorry.)
Oh, speaking of abbreviating and shortening things, and this uncontrollable urge people have to do it...
Do you know why I am called "app"?
The name is April. People don't think that is short enough and try to make it shorter, resulting in the typical shortening of it to "Ape".
When I was about 14, a friend of mine got tired of hearing others insult me that way, so she changed the sound of it to "app" and it stuck as my nickname.
It pretty much ended all the gorilla jokes that went along with calling me "Ape", and I could finally eat bananas again without people snickering...well, almost. (dirty-minded boys still snickered)
Ahh, and there was me thinking it was something do to with the software side of you and the abbreviation topic.
*waves* pleased to meet you!
I have an ethnic picture made entirely from banana skins. Well, not the frame or the glass, that would be most daft and squishy.
I don't know why I added that, but it has stopped me snickering.
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