More bandwidth? Your going to have to get some

A big thumbs up for Internet service operators who try to sell you more bandwidth and then increase the amount of video flash clips, big bannered ads and general crap they display on their homepage which, as a result, slows your computer down to within an inch of its life before it kick starts into reality again. It's not just the ISP's though. Nearly every web page (with the exception of beloved Google) has a trillion ads that flash and strobe you into a jellied psychotic heap in your chair, dribbling too.

The need for speed for users these days has gone beyond the norm as we demand more of everything twice as fast and preferably by yesterday if you please. The problem though can be rectified by teaks within your browser settings and operating systems, but I wonder how many of us actually know how to do this?

There isn't a manual that comes with Windows to tell you how to "Get rid of the crap on the Internet" or for that matter "Get rid of the crap within Windows" because lets face it, if you did that, there wouldn't be a Windows and we'd all be using Linux. This frustration causes you to post endless messages in newsgroups and forums seeking help and assistance. But of course, you have to register a million times in order to do that, so you get millions of Email Verification messages in your mail that you cant access because of all the crap on your ISP's homepage...

Then there is dealing with Spyware, Malware, Trojans, Virus' and AdBlockers and oh my bloody god the list goes on and on, and all these programs that you have to try to download just to deal with this crap, are slowing your machines down even more - so you upgrade your machine to cope with the speed to get more speed - you see where this is all going. The proverbial upgrade loop. Which means spending more money. Ah, these Internet chaps aren't bloody daft are they? I sometimes wonder if this is just another Microsoft conspiracy.

Its all very well having that lightning fast 20MB broadband line, but if there's an extra load of crap on every site - which is increasing every day - your just back to where you started in the first place and that lightning fast line you have just upgraded, will just end up being drizzle.

David Davis wins comedy by-election

David Davis who triggered a by-election in his constituency of Haltemprice and Howden, in protest at the Government’s victory in the 42 days vote, is seen here sharing a laugh or two after his success in winning the local by-election.

The motley assortment of candidates who stood against him ranged from "The Church of the Militant Elvis Party" to a sassy Gemma Dawn Garrett and her "Miss Great Britain Party", stood little chance of receiving any form of standing against the former shadow home secretary and not even the Lib Dems or Labour raised a candidate to stand against Davis. No wonder he's laughing.

Labour has dismissed the by-election as a stunt. Deputy leader Harriet Harman previously accused Mr Davis of "wasting over £80,000 to run a by-election, paid for by the council taxpayers. This by-election is a frolic and it's more to do with internal divisions in the Conservative Party."

Whilst I couldn't agree more and fully believe this is was a complete and utter farce, if the only rabble that could be raised was Mad Cow-Girl from The Official Monster Raving Loony Party and bloody David Icke then the general public have very little faith in any politician in this crucial time for Britain's economy.

Davis shouldn't be laughing. Davis should be worried.

Here was the full list of "candidates"

• Grace Christine Astley - Independent
• David Laurence Bishop - Church of the Militant Elvis Party
• Ronnie Carroll - Make Politicians History
• Mad Cow-Girl - The Official Monster Raving Loony Party
• David Craig - Independent
• Herbert Winford Crossman - Independent
• Tess Culnane - National Front Britain for the British
• Thomas Faithful Darwood - Independent
• David Michael Davis - Conservative
• Tony Farnon - Independent
• Eamonn "Fitzy" Fitzpatrick - Independent
• Christopher Mark Foren - Independent
• Gemma Dawn Garrett - Miss Great Britain Party
• George Hargreaves - Christian Party
• Hamish Howitt - Freedom 4 Choice
• David Icke - No party listed
• John Nicholson - Independent
• Shan Oakes - Green Party
• David Pinder - The New Party
• Joanne Robinson - English Democrats: Putting England First
• Jill Saward - Independent
• Norman Scarth - Independent
• Walter Edward Sweeney - Independent
• Christopher John Talbot - Socialist Equality Party
• John Randle Upex - Independent
• Greg Wood - Independent

Vista update: simply stupid.

Bill Gates is seen here having a chuckle. Yes no doubt he is and probably at my expense as I was forced to wait for a 56.3 MB "Important" Update to be downloaded from Windows Update before I could use my own computer.

If I set Windows Update to allow me to review "high-priority updates" before downloading, then Windows Live OneCare (which I have now ditched) showed my computer to be "At Risk," turned the Windows Live OneCare icon to bright red, and prompted me that my computer "May be at risk from Internet threats". And if I did set Windows Update to automatically download and install "important" updates, I was forced to wait until a 56.3 MB "Important" update such as KB955020 (which adds a massive five words to the English dictionary) before I was able to simply start and use my own computer. For those with any remote interest can find the Microsoft article here at http://support.microsoft.com/kb/955020 which explains nothing why this should be a priority update that is so vital and important to mankind.

Can anyone explain to me why this 56.3 MB containing the hugely popular five words:
1.Friendster
2.Klum
3.Nazr
4.Obama
5.Racicot
- from Windows Update is considered important enough to deny me the use of my own computer until it completes?

Edit: You can follow up some revealing stuff about this here.